Kids, Kids, Kids

How did this happen? My baby is not only 23 but is about ready to graduate from college. A feat I never managed to accomplish. I know, this is very cliche but cliches all have a grain of truth. When we first brought him home from the hospital and laid him in his crib in the room I had spent so much time putting together, Gary and I looked at each other and said "Now what do we do with him." He made it very clear what to do, feeding diapering, praying, not sleeping.

As each subsequent child arrived I felt much better equipped to deal with the daily lives of children. Mark did not taste processed sugar till he was almost four. Gracie, the youngest of the four kids, learned to drink through a straw at seven months as the older boys gave her sips of their ICEE's. I felt that I had learned to let go and let them grow up the way they were meant to grow. I always believed my job was to prepare them for adulthood.

Now with Mark truly entering adulthood, David long past my influence, Jacob and Gracie heading into adolescence maybe letting go is harder than I thought it would be. They do not realize as they move on past me that they are my heart, for over 24 years they have been a part of me. Maybe letting go is not what I need to to do, maybe I just need to move on. Cherish who they are and the piece of my heart they are taking with them.

Kahil Gibran wrote in The Prophet that "your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself." So I will move on as they move on and know that I am giving back to Life itself.

Friendship

I recently had a coffee with a used to be friend from High School. We were that kind of friend that connected deeply for a short time and then lost track, so it's been almost 30 years since we've spoken. The same thing happened again, when we met for coffee, it was a deep connection that happened quickly. Interesting isn't it that our authentic self, knows from an early place what type of friends to make.

Through years of "social self" pressure we learn to make friends based on our situation in life, who we are married to, parents of our kids friends, neighbors that we have nothing in common with but need to be friendly. I found through my adult life those are the types of friends I mostly had. There were the other military spouses, the homeschool moms, the women's group at church, all people I met through my social surroundings. However when my long term marriage ended most of these were not the friends who took me through the ring of fire to the other side.

Tonight I will be celebrating my birthdaywith my friends of the heart. I call them my sisters by choice. They are the ones that have held my hand through it all, some I have know since I was in elementary school and some I have just known a few months. But all of them connect to me, to the real, authentic me in a way that helps me stay centered. I hope I do the same for them.

Take a look around you and see who are your friends that connect to your authentic self, nourish and grow those friendships as they are the ones that will take you any where you want to go.